Needs a bit of work, and I hope that by reading this I can give some advice.
First of all, the drums seem to follow quite an odd pattern. Rather than going KICK KICK KICK KICK with a simoultaeonous PAUSE CLAP PAUSE CLAP, Try going for a more traditional drumloop. Pendulums a pretty good band to follow an example of drumloops. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gtKhX6 Zd_Hk
Notice the kick-kick snare (hats) kick-snare style. This is a pretty useful pattern to follow, and on your sequencer should look a bit like this.
x = Sound placed
Number = Pause
Kick x2x4 1234 12x4 1234
Clap 1234 x234 1234 x234
OpenHat 1234 1234 x234 1234
Closed Hat x2x4 x2x4 x2x4 x2x4
That'll normally work for most DNB tracks, and is pretty much that pattern there, minus some of the extra percussion pendulum have in there.
In terms of how else to improve your track, I reccomend a less awkward melody, unless your going for something prodigy like. If so, you might just want to choose a different preset. The chimes in the middle sound a bit awkward, and I personally would remove them.
Also, everything is really far too loud for its own good. I'm geussing you may be working on laptop speakers, and boosting everything to a more hearable volume. If so, get some headphones. If not, just make sure your song doesn't distort like it does when the second set of kicks come in. The piano melody (to me) is by far the nicest thing about this track, its a nice sound, quite a decent melody, but its far too loud and distorts and overpowers the other elements of the track.
I hope that I've helped here, if you need anything else feel free to private message me and I'll see what I can do :)
Certainly not bad for a first attempt though, keep it up!